work

about

roll the dice

tawk to me

I'm Elizabeth Daniel, a copywriter.

This is a Myspace quiz.

1.) Where were you when the ball dropped for 2015?

Inside the ball, screaming for help.

 

2.) How did you get the idea for your myspace name?

Whoa! Time warp!

 

3.) Do you love anyone?

I fell in love with a guy named Charles who worked at the Five Points Chick-fil-a in Columbia, SC. Unrequited.

 

4.) Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?

I was kinda upset when Anne Hathaway died.

 

5.) Have you ever been to a zoo?

There's a safari ride in Disney's Animal Kingdom, and you can't eat food, because--animals. The people behind me, two grandparents and their grandchild named J.R., argued over whether he should eat his sannwich during the whole ride while J.R. unwrapped and rewrapped it.

 

6.) Do you live in a zoo?

Who wrote this? Was it you, Kim Jong-Un? I told you to stop texting me.

 

7.) What did you eat this morning?

Couple tablespoons of Crisco rolled in granulated instant coffee, as usual.

 

8.) Do you ever have subversive thoughts about the great general?

You’re going to have to get up earlier in the morning than that, Jong-un.

 

9.) Have you ever done something malicious to someone as revenge?

I went online and signed up an old roommate for every free catalogue, brochure, newspaper, pamphlet, and information pack I could find.

 

10.) Have you ever cheated on a partner?

Jong-Un, seriously, stop.

 

11.) What are the last two digits of your phone number?

What could this possibly have to do with anything? It’s just for people to write 69. So, 69.

 

12.) What was the last concert you attended?

Every Time I Die, Harrisonburg, VA. // Neko Case, Brown’s Island, Richmond, VA.

 

13) Who was with you?

The employees of the Mexican restaurant/venue. // Two redheads and a train conductor who was just passing through.

 

14.) What is the last movie you watched?

Wild. 10/10.

 

15.) What do you dislike at the moment?

Quizzes.

 

16.) What food do you crave right now?

​Cook-Out. That means I’m still alive.

 

17.) Did you dream last night?

I dreamt of a bird who kept calling my name from a branch that I couldn’t reach. And when I asked what it wanted, it just kept saying my name. So I ignored it, and after a while it flew away. And then I went home to a house I don’t know. And there was a man there, I think my husband, living in my house, and he wouldn’t let me in. “Didn’t you see the bird?” he asked.  ...I made that up. But it sounds like a prophetic dream, no?

 

18.) What was the last TV show you watched?

McBride. It was so bad that it gave me the creeps.

 

19.) What is your favorite piece of jewelry?

The Hope Diamond, which I've just bought, and which isn't curs-- *dead*

 

20.) Name someone on your Top Friends who is just like you?

Oh, Myspace. You silly antique.

 

21.) What's the last thing you ate/drank?

Crab cake. It’s a yellow cake with live crabs baked in. You cut it and they all crawl out with a very bad ‘tude, snapping their claws. It’s heaven.

 

24.) Are you on any medication?

Dihydrogen monoxide.

 

25.) On what side of the bed do you sleep?

"On which side of the bed do you sleep?" FIFY

 

26.) What color shirt are you wearing?

Green.

 

27) What color is your razor?

Green.

 

28.) What is your favorite frozen treat?

Green.

 

29.) How many tattoos/piercings do you have?

I have a dolphin high-fiving an orca right above my buttcrack. It used to be a dreamcatcher, but I thought people might get the wrong idea, so I had it fixed, and now it looks like a whaling-protest art piece. Brings all the boys to the shipyard.

 

30.) What’s your [least] favorite store?

Any random, someone's-life-dream store that pops up in a dying mall. It's like watching a bird try to fly with a broken wing.

 

31.) Are you thirsty right now?

Wat.

 

32.) Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?

I’ve tricked a few people into being my friends, so maybe I’ll graduate to tricking someone into marrying me.

 

33.) Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?

The cryptozoological helpful Walmart employee.

 

34.) What did you do last night?

Not enough.

 

35.) Do you care what people think about you?

Do I care if people like me? Do I care if people think I’m attractive? Do I care if people think I’m smart? Be more specific about my insecurities, please, Jong-Un.

 

36.) Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?

I absolutely refuse to like Beyonce. Take that, America.

 

37) Do you like your nose?

Which one?

 

38.) What color are your bedroom walls?

Blue. Recently green. Formerly red.

 

39.) Do you like giving or getting massages more?

Takes me back to the feely days of high school theatre “massage trains.” Shiver.

 

40.) Have you ever snooped around your parents room before?

“Parents’ room.” FIFY

 

42.) Where do you live?

Richmond, VA.

 

43.) What is your favorite city in the US/world?

I was fond of Cairo circa 2004.

 

44.) Who do you have a crush on?

Reese’s Fastbreaks.

 

45.) Do you like the person who posted this last?

Everyone loves the dear leader.

 

46.) Do you know their Birthday?

Pronoun agreement. Get it together, Un. “Do you know his or her birthday?” FIFY.

 

47.) What is your favorite thing to do on a Friday night?

Avoid crowded places.

 

48.) Do you tend to attract the stalker types?

No one lives to answer “yes” to this question.

 

49.) What do you smell like right now?

You nasty, Un.

 

50.) What is your favorite color?

Green. Red. Red-orange. Red-orange.

 

51.) Do you like mustard?

When it’s high quality and properly applied to a sandwich, yes. Otherwise, no.

 

52.) What do you tell yourself when times get hard?

When my circumstances seem dire, I remind myself that it took thousands of years for someone to put sleeves on a blanket. Things can always get better.

 

53.) Would you ever sky dive?

If this were for a dating profile, “maybe!” In real life: no.

 

54.) What size bed do you sleep on?

I just want to say that Kim Jong-Un did a great job writing this quiz.

 

55.) Do old people scare you or creep you out?

Really digging the false dilemma here.

 

56.) Have you ever bid for something on ebay?

Yes. A bicentennial commemorative tea tin my mother thought she’d left at a beach house. When the replacement arrived, she found the old one in the pantry. With a severed hand inside! No. But it did have five dollars inside! No.

 

57.) What do you think of Dennis Rodman?

Nice try.

 

58.) Do you enjoy giving hugs?

Sparingly, yes. Very much.

 

59.) Would you consider yourself to be fashionable?

I like to think I have taste, but it doesn’t manifest itself in the clothes I wear. Yet.

 

60.) Do you have any idea how to say 2015 in Swahili?

I guess I'd have to fly to Swahili and say it there. HAHAHAHAcough

 

61.) Do you own any shows on DVD?

Rome, The French Chef, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Seinfeld.

 

62.) Who is your favorite Friends character?

The rent-controlled apartment.

 

63.) Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?

No. I’m usually relieved.

 

64.) What books, if any, have made you cry?

Where’s Waldo. Alternate title: A Child’s Guide to Compulsions and Claustrophobia.

 

65.) Do you ever feel guilty after eating meat?

No. But I do think overcooked steak is tragic.

 

(over) Education:

 

MBS 2015

VCU Brandcenter

 

MFA (fiction) 2011

University of South Carolina

 

BA (with distinction in English) 2008

James Madison University

Work experience:

 

Copywriter

(Big River Advertising)

2014-

 

Adjunct Instructor

(University of South Carolina)

2011 - 2012

 

Graduate Teaching Assistant

(Universidad de Carolina del Sur)

2009 - 2011

 

Graduate Instructional Assistant

(Université de Caroline du Sud)

2008 - 2009

Skills:

 

Fiction writing

Imitating literary criticism

Washing my hands

 

Software:

 

Final Cut Pro X

Photoshop

TextEdit

Site design by Elizabeth Daniel, sturgeon surgeon, in 1859.

Font EB Garamond